1. |
As if Nothing Happened
05:23
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How could I go through those doors again
How could I hear those voices now
How could I stand there, face to face
With the ghosts that beckoned me back
Gone in miasma that still lingers over
A sudden fear every time we’re close
The longer that I’m gone, the more I’m blinded
By memories that only fuel the fire
How far can you detach yourself
From that crucial piece of your history
No matter what’s attached to it
You’ll never let go of it quietly
Gone in the morning, no traces to be found
And I’ve only heard, not seen her since
Driving the back roads, past the old house
My mind’s back there every time her name comes up
Gone in the night sky, lost in a bottle
The pictures flood my bloodshot eyes
They’re all together, smiling and beautiful
Fill a glass and sink into the trance
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2. |
Closer Apart
05:25
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When we first met, a whirlwind new life had just felt complete
Nights on an outside porch, feeling fresh as spring
Those chemicals, captured and still inside memories
And you’ll find that light again, just without me
In my head I still see you in front of me
Wondering if you ever knew what you meant to me
Maybe it’s better to let go and leave it unsaid
Maybe it’s better to be closer when we’re apart
But in time, illness built a wall, as it often does
And when I tore it all down, I found that you were gone
I was a weight tied to your back, keeping you down
A desperate hand that came through the fog, met with silence
Sometimes I have to think that there’s still hope
Too many burning nights, I’ll leave it alone
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3. |
Warmth in Each Other
05:52
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When words lack the grace to heal us
How else could I spare comfort
When I disappear for too long
What could bring me back home
Take me into your warm arms again
Keep me tethered to the here and now
Hold me down when I drift off again
Before I take our small world with me
When I become cold to the touch
What could bring me back to life
When I’m numb to loving words
What could bridge this distance
Take me into your warm arms again
Keep me connected to reality
Stop me from sinking in this pit of self
This need, regressing, becoming a child
Please don’t let go of my hand
I’m not quite ready yet
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4. |
Where We've Been
04:24
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When I last saw her, I don’t know when
Where I had lived or who I was with
All that I had was a trace
Handwritten notes and a photo from ‘08
She always thrived on stage
A leading lady, and I was her man
And as my light had faded out
She kept hers alive with every new part
It came back with her mother’s voice
Floating as I walked into the wedding
The clouds parted like a hymn to god
She always was devout
Then she walked out, beautiful and glowing
Like she became who she always wanted to be
When her groom looked in her eyes, something had changed
The two became one and we left to find her once again
They shared a dance alone
And when the drinks were filled
Everyone shared their toasts
That made her father cry
Photos of me and her
Showing us where we’ve been
Faces I barely knew
Someone I couldn’t reach
When we got to talk
She laughed just the same
Sharing our memories
And filling in the gaps
As I stepped out into the rain
After about three goodbyes
Marveling how much she’s grown
But had I done the same
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5. |
How We've Grown
04:31
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After driving the long road down south
I noticed you sitting right next to me
And from the first words you had said
It was just like you never left
We drifted away from our small town after school
Separate states but never truly distant
All our past days had led us back where we called home
I wanted every detail of how you’ve been
We spoke of the places we had gone
New York City, Ohio, and Canada
The ghosts that followed us there and back
You were always stronger than you thought
Up until 2am laughing and rambling on
Sparkling brut and Aberlour I couldn’t afford
A hotel TV watching for Sandra Oh
I could never feel alone with your company
After you danced at the wedding that night
You saw the lavender on the table
They were fake but you took them anyway
A small keepsake and some punch for the road
As painful as it was to go back home
To what I left behind, the seeds I sow
On the car’s front, the lavender had stayed
Something to remember every morning
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6. |
Where We're Going
05:03
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...
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7. |
Always Leaving
06:19
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Everything was gone when I first came to
I couldn’t find you in the dim lights
When I looked to see what I had left
I knew I couldn’t face it honestly
Every two years it’s the same
A cycle that feeds itself on me
I wish I had reached out to you
But I’m not there now
Everything was where I always left it here
I knew just where to find you
But when all the chips fell for you
There was no trace left of me
I still hear what she should have said to me
At night, soaked deep in chardonnay
"I won’t be another replacement
For someone I know you lost"
Stupid words, desperate love
Telling signs of a weaker man
I’d throw my last bottle away
To find you somehow
Keep on telling her how weak, scared, and broken you are
Saying that you want to talk
But she won't care now
Too many apologies
Not enough was true
Maybe it’s better this way
I won’t darken her sky
Just let it fade
Because I’m not there now
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8. |
Quiet Little World
04:42
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I know every texture of this colorless ceiling
I can trace every line on the floor
And still I’d rather be here, locked but never trapped
Without a sound, a thought or movement
Deep within the wreck stands a newly crafted wall
So strong no one could break through
But here behind it, no light could ever reach
Maybe this was a mistake
These worlds that I make alone shape and entice me
Drugged to sleep by love surrounding
Until it turns into a harsh reality
Better to have the devil you know
Talking to ghosts, rehearsing every single line
Until I can stand to hear my own voice
Then the time is right and I finally see you
Only just to sit in silence
When you get tired and want to go
Just leave me where I lie
I’m alright in the dimming greens
I can’t afford not to be
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Vineleaf Drive Louisville, Kentucky
Vineleaf Drive is the project of Louisville songwriter Eliot Cain, whose hobbies apparently include referring to himself in the third person.
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